crayola

Dahon thinks this blog - with the black background and white text-- is not really me.

when i was younger, i didnt take to colors very much. i judged them as cheap or fancy. black and white and dark blue were the only way to go.

as a little girl, my mom would dress me up in red or pink while my slightly younger niece had to (jealously) settle for same dresses in blue or green. my mom was away when i reached high school, where the boys' ratio to girls is 3:1. Not wanting to be too feminine, i was usually in dark blue or dark green.

in college, i have articulated (to me) that i love blue because it's a strong color, but one which is also sometimes associated with sadness (don't be blue... ). strong but with feelings. i like that. isn't that me? :-)

not only did i wear a lot of blue but i had blue everything in my boarding house - doormat, water dipper, pale, toiletries basket, dishrack, slippers, etc.

after 3 years, i got tired of it coz my sister 'boxed' me into it. she bought everything for me in blue :-( how could i complain?

i used to hate apple green and orange. i really believed that those colors were only for the meztizas. i hated brown too. No, i had no feelings for it. is that even a color? hehehe.

looking back, i guess my concept of equality of the sexes then was that whatever anything guys can do, say, or wear, women can too. that explains the Blue. When i started working(while studying), and spending time with / learning from my feminist friends and a few teachers) i 'realized' that i have been measuring myself up against the male standard.

after some initial deconstruction (because it never ends), i reclaimed my femininity. Go pink! hehehe. Naah. More like, welcoming other colors into my life, into my closet, and (on a more serious note) reeeeaaaally feeling that i do love me and my feminine side :-)

the real magenta
the color varies online but i think this one is closest to the one in Crayola that i love for being deep and bright. (but not neon, coz they're only effective as highlighters)

Yellow
A guy i once liked, or rather, a guy i was once attracted to, (there's a difference) had an ex-gf who adored yellow. he liked fair-skinned women too so that at the time, i did my best to have a tan just to get a reaction. anyway, i never liked yellow, but during that time, i guess i disliked it.

now, yellow seems fine. sometimes even pretty. i actually went thru a phase early this year that i wanted to buy thing in lemon-yellow. (but somehow it never materialized).

in my closet, there's mostly red and dark pink. then some orange and apple green. while i have black tops in all states of sleevehood, i seldom wear the color. It's too safe. and doesn't say much about the person, aside from, yes, safe. (goddess friend used to wear black almost everyday, but she leads a super colorful life, promise. hehe) Sometimes i like to tease myself, so that even on 'fat days' i dare to wear white. (i was wearing white when i went on that Debate show, tsk.) i have lots of white. I think it's adventurous. Not to mention fresh and cool. (and it's not really because some guy likes me in it, Pansy! hehehe)

Got to go. oh. im wearing navy blue. why? coz it's clean and it fits. hehehe.