Lecheng pag-ibig to! (hehehe. joke lang.)

just when i thought i was over you... (air supply)
and now im almost over you... (sheena easton)
i can get over you (d'sound)
BUT it aint over till it's over (lenny kravitz)

i was out, had a meeting, and daydreamed before during and after. I thought about my "love-life" in the next few years. I must confess I really have no control over my daydreams-- so that I can't help it if i can't decide who to "be with", so that there are 3 guys inside my pretty head. I was writing in my notebook

I am a funny girl. I am being capricorn planning out my aquarian future life with "potential partners." One of them is this guy that I see today. ("See " as in I see him with my eyes at this moment, not "see" that im dating him). We don't really talk much anymore. We rarely even talked before, except for that 2 weeks when Fate decided to play around with innocent people. Hmp! And here I am, thinking, believing, that I am going to be spending many many years intimately with him. Yes, intimately, as in, i might allow him to be my next-door neighbor. Or maybe a seasonal co-resident of my apartment. (I might even marry(!) him if i get too crazy. hehe)

Actually, it usually seems like he wants to talk with me. Flirt with me. (Right now, he just sat very close and made small talk. And i just smile and say, yes Im busy.) But either I am natatameme. (And I am rarely that. Haha.) Or nasusuplada. Because i want more.

More conversations. More friendship. More hanging out. More love. But it's not happening. So what's the point? Sometimes, i don't like to flirt aimlessly. Hehehe."

A few days ago, I wrote here that I don't anymore look at him "with hope or agenda" in my eyes. It was true. Had been true for quite sometime. But today I melt. And the 5 minutes spent walking alone with him was more than enough to realize that there's still that 'tension' somewhere hanging in the air between us. But we only talked about mundane things. Like his misfortune of having to miss my upcoming birthday. :-) Suddenly comes that "moment" like 'something' might just happen. But somebody comes along. :-)

And the moment just passed us by. Sigh.