Whenever some friends talk to me about considering getting back with their troublesome ex-lovers, I panic inside. And because I could never really lie to be kind without obvious manifestations, I either stay too quiet or fight with them. Because moments like this worry me a lot. What if they don’t treat you right again???

Lately, I thought maybe the ones that Im trying protect are not really my friends but myself. Because if they get hurt, Id get hurt too. Hmmm. Maybe that’s not such a unique thought after all. Never mind.

I feel sorry for you while listening to you talk, explain, defend and pretend that you don’t care what he does. But of course you do, my dear. You care about him, that’s why you got back with him in the first place. I can see right through you and I hate it. I hate that you have to defend your choice to others. I hate that you have to pretend you only accepted him again out of boredom when I know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, for better or for worse. I hate that you can’t just say you love him. I hate that loving him has put you in this position. I hate that he’s got incredible luck with you and he’s pushing it. I hate all these. I love you. :-)