Hey Jealousy aka That Damn Friendster Blog

Love is not jealous.
I am jealous.
Therefore I most probably
do not love you.

Hehehe.

Came across an ex's blog today. Gf thought some passages of melancholy were about me. Not. I don't blame her. They were powerful words of nostalgia. Of worship even. Of longing and loving. And they could have very well been about me. He used to write me the same lines. I used to cringe at the intensity of the words. I also used to secretly melt. :-)

But they were not about me. Those paragraphs about his yesterloves were for another girl. The one he spent time with in that place with the free hash. Or for that girl he must have met when he went to this Asian country, where I also went and met up with him there whoa!). It could have been written with me in mind except I can't quite relate so it must have been another. It is actually hard to distinguish who he misses or treasures because it seems he's got these beautiful yet generic lines which he uses for the girl of the moment.

I feel sad and I am jealous. Now that he's into emo blogging, I feel that I deserve a post about me. Haha. For all his issues with me, for all his resentments, his fear of unrequited emotions, and he doesn't write about his experience with me??? I am bothered because some months he appears out of the blue and sends some messages. What is that about?

He's got all these women in his past haunting his heart and yet he always had this fear I'd cheat on him. Tsk.

So I am jealous. But when this jealousy fades away, I'll be smiling and liking myself because my simple words are worth more than his free-for-all prose.